Have a Happy New Year!

Happy new year to everyone! staying home, making some Star sugar cookies. and being boring.. lol


SSSMMMOOOOOOCCHHHHHHHEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

OH. My. GOSH.

**if you already know most of story, scroll down to RED words..**
ok, so let me just report to you how our last week was... regarding Madelyns heart.
for the record, my gut has started hurting even typing this, and ive NOT wanted to type this and mentally re-live it, but i need to... for 2 reasons, 1.) to remind myself of every detail, in case i need to use any info for further treatment. 2.) so YOU all know why ive been missing in action as well as a complete emotional zombie & basket case.
(**warning.. there is gross kinda graphic stuff about mucas, and blood, so if squimish..skip ahead or just filter through it**)

lets start at begining...
went to the regular pediatrician. (Primary Care Physician aka "PCP") because Madelyn was having a hard time breathing, INSANELY tired, all the time, and sleeping more than normal for a 4 year old, and she ALWAYS sounds congested, never had a runny nose, just sounded yucky... as well as coughing all the time.

we went to the dr, she started out with a zillion things that "could be wrong",dove into not knowing what allll of it was, because there was just so many symptoms going on, (understandable... start at the begining of symptoms to start ruling out stuff... right?) ok, so all this talk has her using stethascope to listen to madelyn breathing, and listening to lungs and chest.... ok, so then, she just sorta pauses, and has maddie lay down, and listens to her for like 3 whole minutes. has her sit up, and says....
"madelyn has an irregular beat to her heart, it kinda speeds up and then slows down....  im not happy with it, so im feeling comfortable saying im going to have her reffered to a pediatric cardio specialist for tests. but i also want to run bloodwork, so i can rule out some things, ASAP. I am also having her go on a rescue inhaler before any active physical activity. (sports, the park, going outside to play) and i want to put her on an antibiotic for 5 days, and Singulair for the allergy's..."
ok, so im in mommy mode, kinda internally freaking out about the heart issue. ANY mom would, rather you "know something < > or not"..... im human. and all i hear is blah blah blah when she is rattling on and on about the lung stuff. (which was the reason i was all wrong on my last post... im friggin mentally fried, sorry)
next...bloodwork, madelyn was AMAZING, they couldn't find a vein in one arm, so the poor thing had to have her other arm poked too... she was SOO brave, and waited untill she was in the parking lot, once she was ALLLL done, and started balling.... =,,(
then, the next day, i called the dr to get blood test results... ALL blood is ok,... yea! (no infection, no cancer, nothing "wierd or abnormal"
so my level of anxiety at this point is at an...eeennhhh..... i was glad she was ok blood wise, but if she ISN"T anemic (low iron) WHY in the world is my little girl soo friggin tired 24/7???
so im anxious when the cardiologist calls and makes appt., and not even in the "lung mode" when the allergist calls to make HIS appt.
so, at this point both appts are made, and i am worried. when you put your ear up to madelyns chest- you can HEAR the "irregular" ness of the beat.. it is just really freaky a mom.... or dad...
so, we load up, and go 1 hour and 15 minutes to Valley Childrens Hospital. lets just say i was in major mental meltdown but at the same time emotionally NUMB mode. i LITTERALLY was having chest pains as we drove up the long driveway. it is VERY deceiving, it kinda looks like an amusment park.
 ya right.
so we get out, go in, and start the cardio testing...
the did blood pressure, temp, etc... and then, Madelyn was really brave and calm, and they did an EKG. put little stickers on her, and she was soo good, she laid perfectly still with her little eyes closed, kinda fluttering trying to keep them closed, with a small smile on her face, cause she knew we were ALL watching! =) she got done, we waited, the dr came in....
he said, everything on EKG looked GREAT! he listened to heart, said it sounded good. there was a SMALL heart murmer near the coller bone area. but said it was fine, nothing to worry about. said her "irregular rythym" was due to a "sinus"-something.. (i can't remeber name) but it was a sinus related reason, that was NORMAL because of how badly she had asthma. he then went on and on about the lungs and asthma.mentioning names of other lung inhalers, etc... said since we were already up there, he would order us an XRAY of heart & lung, so that when we went to our allergy appt, it would be DONE. but that heart was fine.
i asked him.... "so the murmer thing you heard, ?, its nothing we need to worry about? (i asked because Macie had a small murmer, and we had to go there, when she was an infant, macie was fine) so i asked... nothing to worry about? your telling us her heart is FINE?...
he says..kinda forcefully " I already told you, its nothing to worry about."
i said, ok, good... just checking... he sent us on our way, down the hall to XRAY....
so we do the XRAY, the machine is SOOOOOO BIGGGGG like literally it looked a flying contraption...!.. she was soo scared, and the guy was kinda wierd.... she was scared .. and she kept feeling like she was falling, so she was all squirming... .. but she managed through it, and they told us, if there was any probs, they would call, or they wouldn't let us leave. etc.. etc..
cardio said she was ok, ekg said she fine..... we were happy with a clean bill of heart health for madylyn.....
the next day, i call cardio- to get xray results, they call back a couple hours later, they say, everything is fine, everything is a conclusive report with BAD asthma.. heart is FINE.

then hell happened.
i was in my moms driveway dropping her off from doing a "starbbucks run"..
got a phone call at 9pm. (wierd that they were calling so late... MUST be important)
it was MY pediatrician.
she said..."is madelyn ok? is she the in the hospital?"
me: no, why?
DR: well, i have a copy of the XRAY results right here, and they said she has an enlarged heart, with compaction, and heart failure..... (for record, madelyn is FINE)

YA..... my EVERYTHING went numb....

me: (panic mode) no, the cardiologist said she was FINE! heart FAILURE!?! do we need to rush her to Valley childrens?
dr: no, im just surprised they didn't keep you! did they do an ultrasound?
me: NO! what do i need to do!
dr: well, if cardio released her, just hold off.. she is physically doing ok?
me: yes
dr: well, i have a ton of questions, so i will personally be making some phonecalls tonight and tomarow, call me in the morning at 8, we will touch base.
me: ok... do i need to limit her physical activity?
dr: no, let me get some answers, ill talk to you in AM.

i hang up, and literally almost pass out. my gut was just in one huge knot, and all i could think was.. i need to drive home still, i need to stay calm untill i drive all the way home.
i look at my mom, relay convo, she hugs me, and im just NUMB, i NEED to drive safely get home, i had madelyn and malorie with me, john was at the house with macie.
im litterally crying & praying.... and forcing myself to do "step by step driving" stop annie, go annie, just get there safe annie...
our night was the worst night of my LIFE. i know the cardiologist had said she was fine, but my head kept telling me..."he didnt SEE the xray", he ordered it for lungs, he was "done with us" no NEED to look at XRAY.
is she going to die? now? is she going to die in her sleep? i couldn't let her out of my sight, i couldn't stop holding her, and touching her, smelling her, it was TOTALLY late, and time for her to sleep, and i didn't want her away from me. i made her sleep with macie, if you are a parent, you can IMAGINE the hell going through my head. I called the only other person who, at the time, knew what was going on, and she was SOOOO good to try calming me down, ill give her An "A" for effort...with all valid points, Radiologist who READ report WOULD have called you back, they wouldn't just sweep it under, they would have followed up, Valley CHildrens is the BEST, they do this EVERY day.
but ya right, when someone calls and says... is she in hosipal? her heart is enlarged and in failure....is she doing ok?... there is NOTHING you can say, no prayer strong enough, no amount of peace big enough, there is nothing but helpless... this feeling of..."...but!?!?..."  there was NO ONE here that had the capability to calm me, ease me. i spent the longest scariest night ever. i was physically sick, and my gut hurt so badly, i could keep anything down,  i did NOT sleep a wink, i could NOT leave her alone, i wanted to badly to call cardio and say.. um.. hello.. what the hell?!?!?! but no one was there, and it was almost the day before xmas eve. so there was REALLY no one there. SHOULD we rush her up there? admit her? she is visually ok, but who knows... so i prayed... i prayed for Madelyn to be ok, for her to not be in pain, and be unable to express it to us, for God to prepare our hearts for whatever the next step is, for sleep, for peace, for the docters dealing with this WHOLE situation to have wisdom, and be at the right place at the right time to get answers NOW.
its an undescribeable pain when you think your child will die at any second. even though you were told otherwise but only HOURS ago.
so 7 am rolls around.... madelyn is snoozing... everyone is snoozing
 i call MY docter, to see if she found out anything... no answer, no reply.....
i call Valley Childrens.... no one will be there till 8, i call, no one will be there till 8:30.... 8:30 on the DOT, i call.
Dotsy answers, i spill into the whole thing.. my dr called, told us results, we were told she was fine, what is going on, on your end?
dotsy: oh my god! first-your daughter is FINE. 
( whooooooosh, thats me, the tears start coming, im gut renching crying on the phone...)
im SOOOO SOoooRRRRRYYYY! i know exactly what happened! When you called me, i went and got the xray results, when i read on there ABNORMAL results, i KNEW i couldn't call you back and tell you over phone, the dr. had to, so i took them to him,
cardio dr said, "NO, no.. this isn't right... "
and i saw him physically walk the xray to the radiologist, the radiologist felt bad because..... he wrote down on the FINAL report what they were LOOKING for..... they were looking for all those things that were wrote down. she didn't have ANYTHING wrong with heart! im so sorry, i didn't know that report got out to your dr already! im so sorrryyyy! i saw the whole thing happen, thats how i know all of this... its ok!
needless to say, i was in full blown crying mode, thanking her over and over.... telling her God totally put her there today for a reason.
she agreed, apparently she wasn;t supposed to work that day, and if anyone else had been there, they would have no clue what had happened. besides the dr. Dotsy offers to call my pediatrician pcp to explain, i say thank you. we talked for a while.
so i call back the pediatrician.. AGAIN... let them know on my end, i AM aware of screw up, and to call when they can.
she calls and tells me a ton of other stuff.. well, im not happy with xray results, im not happy he is ok with not checking murmer, (i already told you what happened when I questioned the cardio dr.), so i thing im comfortable running more tests.
me: what the frick? **double take, head shake.**. what??!
dr.: come in today (its the day before christmas eve, so they are "closed"), we can go over some more asthma training, get the medicine the cardio dr reffered, etc.. and talk about maybe seeing a second cardiologist and get a second opinion on Madelyn......
me: WHAT?!?!?
**keep in mind, the place we took madelyn is the BEST in kid care in i *think* the state of california, google it**
me: ok, ill see you at 3.
who the hell is she to *question* a pediatric cardio specialist?
i relay plans to john, he FLIPS, and just going bonkers... mad because the dr is second guessing the specialist SHE reffered us too. mad cause she called and flipped us out last nite before knowing the facts. he goes into man mode, i go into MOM mode.
id had so many people tell me so things, so many calls, so many people involved. i just wanted to make sure madelyn was ok.
period.
i call BACK the cardioligst office, and tell them, what my dr said, that she wants an ultra sound, so is she really ok?? why would MY docter order that?
dotsy: if the cardio docter thought that was needed, he would have ordered it right away. it sounds like she is just trying to cover her tooshy.

oh good grieffffff

so, im sick all over again, thinking about MORE tests, right back to where i was the night before. i knew things were just NOT ok.. so much back and forth.
i start throwing up again.. (wasn't like i had anything to throw up, but my body didn't know that) i called the dr, and said we are comeing in NOW, im getting girls ready, and we will be there in 30 minutes.
we get in there, she has madelyn do a breathing test thing, and pretty much dismisses the cardio/heart issue as a little mis understanding..... reallllyyyyyy?
madelyn was soo good, that was the first time she really was like.. ahhhwwww mom, i don't WANT to to go to the dr again! =( so it was makeing it difficult to keep her spirits high. she was grumpy.
so i told her i was going on NO sleep, and extreamly emotional, after spending a night thinking your child is in heart failure, with UMPTEEN amounts of things wrong with heart & lungs... really.. sorry for the mis understanding? john flipped, madelyn melted down into 2 year old tantrum mode and i cried.
so imagine john reaming this docter for the unnecisarry worry, understanding it was NICE of her to call and "check on" what she thought was an ill patient, but serioulsy, before a whole lot of proof? and already having questions before she called me? and for questioning the findings of this cardiologist.
her reply.. was: she already had a second radiologist look at report, she still has questions, and she wants whats best for madelyn.
what none of us AT THIS POINT IN TIME realized was.. when the dr ordered the xray of lungs, it makes the "angle" of the xray different. which MAKES the heart look different. so rather the original guy who read report wrote down the wrong stuff or not, the whole "angle thing" apparantly makes a difference.
so at this point they are with raised voices, both trying to prove a point, john telling her we don't care about ANYONES emotions or feelings, just madelyns health.
i finally can't take it, and stand up to take madelyn out, they stop, and focus on the rest of asthma stuff.
they both agree if the cardiologist thinks it is needed for an ultra sound, then they will order it.. (in a week...UM NO, now please..) we all agree.. john tells her, once the allergy stuff is done, we will be changing dr's.. her lack of professionalism in the whole things is over our heads.
ok, so at this point, she REALLY brings up madelyn liver....
oh i forgot to mention, through out the whole visit she is just pileing on the "what ifs"
well, if she is breathing through her nose alot, and not through her mouth it means this, if she hungry or NO appitite it means this, if, if, if.... so my brains is like...
think think.. does she breath through nose? or mouth? think think.. does tummy hurt? think think does her head hurt? ohhh myy goshhhh...
so then she busts out with the liver thing! well, if always tired and no appitie, could mean liver enlarged, did cardio check liver? so she checks,.... nope liver is fine..... good grief, is this docter trying to kill us with the what if crap? you really should have heard her!
so after getting madelyns new meds, a morning and night QVAR inhaler mask, and the paperwork on asthma stuff, we were more than ready to go. with the agreement that after she spoke personally to the cardio docter, IF an utra sound of madelyn was needed by HIM, she would call us.
so... we get a phone call from the cardiologist about an hour later, he says, an ultrasound is not needed. that the added expense as well as the inconvienience of the drive up there is just not needed, unless we wanted to. we told him, no amount of money, and nothing ":inconvienient" about making sure our daughter was ok. IF i could have drove to valley childrens the night before at 10 pm, we would have. so we said, we can be there by 3:30... plan on it now please. he also said, he HAS made mistakes before, very rare, but it was possible. so to go ahead and come up there.
so the day before christmas eve, we litterally went from standing in a parking lot, to....lets buckle up, and lets GO, NOW. lets get this over with so we can know FOR sure that she is 100 percent ok. period. NOW.
so there comes the panic and praying and gut hurting....again.......
the drive up there, just tears brimming sooo frustrated, but willing to do whatever we need to, to make sure without a doubt, and without waiting a week (could you imagine?)
so we walk into this HUGE hospital, again....
go through the motions... again...
and when we turn the corner, there is our docter, and the HEAD of the radiology dept. waiting for us, and ready.
amazingly fast, no waiting, it was soo needed after the previous 24 hours.
they got her in the room, i turned on disney chanel, this is when we found out about the whole.. "different angle thing", and the head guy did the ultra sound. and the docter was litterally in and out of room, waiting, so he could read results too, right THEN. no waiting.
Madelyn was/is fine. the radiologist words were..
"you couldn't have a more perfect heart"
dr said: "no need to keep worrying, her heart is fine, case closed"

soooo.... after allll of that....... oh my gosh... drained.... scared to death something else will happen, or someone else will call, with more bad news. im contantly seeing everything different, like when she isn't hungry im freaking.. WHY?! is it her liver now???? or reason, A, B, or C the dr named off.... good grief....
im terrified the allergy appt will be more scary news/im just pretty much scared of my kids walking and talking at the same time now. like im sooo trying to get calmed down, but im trying.... madelyn is fine.... stronger women than me can be all... "there ultimately in Gods hands, i have NO control, but im still kinda burried in it, and stil trying to get back to "normal"""
i think i will always be wondering if her heart is ok, the dr was STILL throwing out things like a 24 hour halter, etc... i KNOW she has bad asthma, so im just treating that right now, and looking and watching for all the signs of that. its all new to us, so like on christmas, we forgot her rescue inhaler. she has NEVER needed it, but ive never had to worry before. so when all the girls went outside, i panicked. we were a half hour from her inhaler. WHAT IF?! i pray for peace and for my fears to be eased... i pray for madelyn to really truely be ok. im just still in the calm down mode....
its not like one of those... "whew that was a close one!" hee hee and move on kinda things.... when you spend an entire night thnking your child is litterally going to pass away, its a whole new meaning of parenthood. but she is OK. just bad asthma.
i don't know, maybe i shouldn't have watched ultra sound, but madelyn wanted me litterally 1/2 on the bed with her, i could NOT say no. 
i SAW the ultrasound, i SAW her heart beating, i SAW the blood flow in and out of the chambers, and i SAW how natural the how thing was. and how quickly it could just stop.
oh my gosh my gut hurts just typing this and re-live-ing-it...ughh
allergy appt is on the 3rd. im hopeing everything is just routine.... i will be calling a friend who HAS taken their kids to see an allergist. hopefully she can help me calm down about this. but after what we just went though, im just litterally tying to get through without padding my house with cushions for my kids... i need to simmer down..... but its impossible for me.... i just keep having moments of breaking down... they are getting fewer, so im sure God is working in me.
example: hearing madelyn bust out in prayer during christmas dinner, i just got all teary eyed, HOW close we could have came to spending our christmas in a hospital room, so many other parents do at that wonderfull but scary hospital.
so hopefully SOMEONE read all of this, if not, no biggie, i did it more for me to look back on any details if i need them later...
hope you all had a great christmas
xoxoxo

**HEALTHY HEART**

Madelyns heart checked out A-OK!!!!!! yea!!!!!!!
she has a small murmer, but normal....
the docter was VERY concerned with the lung/asthma issues, and was very firm about taking action, but he toned it down once we told him she already has an appt. on Jan 3rd. =)
Madelyn was a CHAMP! she had... weight, temp, pulse checked twice, blood pressure, ekg, and xray done. she was AMAZING, and brave!!! =))))

=) happy momma!!

Christmas at my parents..

ok... every year we do christmas the sunday before with JUST my parents & brother and me... and of course all our families...
Macie is into picking out her own clothes now... cute girl
madelyn LIVES in her rain boots...don't ask...i have no answer
malorie was DRENCHED in toothpaste about a 1/2 hour before this pic was taken, so she was just along for the ride today...lol

me and malorie....awwww



My girls patiently waiting for gifts.. lol

madelyn HAD to have her hair straightened today... it goes down to knees now almost!
(thanks for the bow Veronica...;)...)

Malorie looking silly at her cousins *antlers!*

awww.....

Linda & my brother chris.. CUTE!

Linda and little Christopher

madelyn!

Crazy Ricky...lol

all the kids and Papa... awww

all the kids and Grandma.. awwww

Me and my love bug....

John and Malorie... i think she opened a micky mouse car..lol she is in love with mickey and minnie

madelyn opening something princess.. lol

macie, TOTALLY stoked she got a Lava Lamp.. lol... she is soo big now!

no holliday is complete without *MY* cherry cheesecake!
more pics soon of other things...xoxo

Christmas decorations

soooo, every year i post pics of my house all decked out in christmas cheer.... its decked out, there just isn't a whole lot of cheer lately.... yep, im a bummer to read, you-dont-like-it? stop readin'...lol

so here are some pics... i DO have 3 trees this year.. im very happy about.... 1 i forgot i bought last year, 1, i had.. small.......and 1 i was given by my aunt debbie, and it has more sentimental value than anything i could buy...

i have a "traditional" (red, green, gold) p.s. this tree the girls decorated, BEFORE i added lights, and since i JUST finished decorating the third tree, like 2 days ago, i said...aaanh... leave it...

"Family" tree.. hand made, or given to us type ornaments....

and my super cute super fun "April" tree.. brights and sparkly... i got to decorate my piano this year.. to a female, thats a big deal to have ONE more surface to cover...lol......

other pics are just the normal... but i know ill kick myself in the tush if i don;'t post.... enjoy

fav decoration this year & why? my lamp posts. they are on the bar in the village... my aunt debbie gave thess to me. i *think* they were part of my aunt jewels things (she passed away a couple years ago) and i LOVE them. they are soooo what i need right now. it is a simple plug in light with more meaning and reminders of love and faith & hope than i could ever sit here and type. it is a reminder of who i am, and where i come from. and the long line of women before me in this family. that made me...ME. i think of my aunts every time i see the lamp posts.....

***view from front door***

***love this tree skirt.. like santas outfit!***

****Lamp posts!!****

****a pic of all 3 trees..lol****

***ok.... PATHETIC bathroom!!!! im seriously on the hunt the day after christmas this year.. i NEED bathroom stuff.. how sad hunh...!***

xmas pics with nephews

soooo, Linda and i are tired of the cutesie dressed up pics.. so we did pajamas & stuffed xmas pillows...fun

nervous mom energy = chocolate

this is one of everything..... cookies, candycanes, smores pretzles, i dipped, sprinkled, baked, melted....

cookies.....mmm

tons of different pretzles

these are pretzles smores style.. i swear they are the size of a lamb chop!

yummmm

Madelyn.... update

soooooo.... blood work came back A-ok..... she was SUCH a brave little pumkin! John showed up to help, we had NO clue how she was going to react.... she was soooo good! she sat on my lap, they started with one arm, and couldn't find a a "good one".. after madelyn being super patient, and the lady moving the needle ALLL OVER, she ended up stopping and moving to the next arm... and voila.... we had a vial full in no time.

next up... I got a call saying cardio appt & allergist appt was cleared.....
waiting to hear on cardio...
Allergist in Visalia is on the 3rd of Jan.
Im glad appt is in visalia for allergy, because the xray & ultrasound can HOPEFULLY be done by my friends husband. Madelyn knows him, and i think it would TOTALLY calm her if she had a familiar face...... we shall see....

keep praying....  she is soooo tired all the time..... so my number one question.. "if she is NOT anemic (low on iron) then why in the crud-moley is she SOOOO tired all the time.????" ugh....

pray

Madelyn....

so, I took madelyn to the dr yesterday.

originally, we were just concerned about her breathing, couldn't shake her last cold/cough bug,  and possibly having asthma, maybe even some allergy issues, she is always tired,  .. not sure, we just knew it was time to take her in and get her checked out..... so......  yep, asthma... they gave us a bunch of inhaler/chamber things...... yep, some allergies...... we are giving her an allergy tablet for 2 weeks....... yep a cold, she is now on an antibiotic for 5 days...... so all of that is done/good/whatever

the big one...... Her heart has an irregular slow beat to it when she breaths/gets excited... it slows down like every couple of beats. i can put my ear to chest and HEAR it..... even when she was in a deeeep sleep.... it is like.....
bumbum...bumbum...bumbum.................bummm..bumm........bummbummm..................then again

so, they are making an appt for a cardiologist fresno, as well as an allergist.
they have me going in at 3 today for madelyn to have bloodwork done. i was trying to be a good mom and kinda prepare her so it wasn't so scary, so i told her they were going to use a metal toothpick to borrow some blood, just to check her princess juice.... make sure no glitter was needed to be added..... she bought it..... =)..... and i promised her yogurt at Big Kahuna.
this is the same girl who does NOT like change. does not understands WHY her clothes are handed down to malorie.... she just freaks..... so im trying make it "easy peasy"......

next they want an xray of heart & lungs.
(she said she wanted to check for fluid pockets in lungs)


so needless to say, last night sucked. its all the "what if" scenarios..... im praying NON stop.... i tear up non stop...... but NEVER in front of girls.
i know, i know.... "you don't even know if something *BAD* is going on, don't freak yourself out, blah blah...." try letting it be YOUR child, and you can HEAR her heart struggling..... just imagine...... then times it by 10,000,000... this must be one of the most insane things ive ever been in the middle of.  I feel guilty for EVER getting upset with her...

i know God has a plan.
I know, im only human.
Im not perfect.
I can't react the way everyone wants me too.
I also know that it is NOT my job to make everyone else feel better.
God blessed me with 3 beautiful girls, THATS my job. be the best mom i can be.  i KNOW how to TRY at that.
i know i am so overwhelmed it is litterally hurting my gut.
i know, that nothing has been determined with madelyn. she has lots of appts. ahead of her. but as we all know, sometimes, the UNKNOWN is WORSE than the "what is".....

ive been told by more than one, its a good thing i found out something NOW, rather than something terrible happening and finding out damage had been done.

pretty please pray.

my 3 favorite .....tag...=)

These are fun, and i havn't ANY desire to decorate for xmas.. so im going to do this.. haha...

Three names I go by:
1. Mom

2. Ann

3. annie


Three Jobs I have had in my life:
1. Ice cream scooper

2. Office manager

3. Hair bow maker...=)


Three places I have lived:
1. tulare

2. kingsburg

3. visalia



Three Favorite Drinks
1. coffee

2. iced/hot tea

3. spinache shakes...mmmm




Three TV shows I watch:
1. rizzoli & ilsles

2. hawaii 5-0 (YUMMM eye candy)

3. bones/ncis (both)

(parenthood, bachelor, bachelorette, bach pad, person of interest, criminal minds, new girl, mentalist, dallas cowboy cheerleaders, kardashians, oc housewives, bh housewives, auction wars, auction hunters, chuck, body of proof,  castle....lol.. i have no life.... just 3 kids...lol)



Three places I have been:
1. texas (all the states in between)

2. mountains/beach (everything in between)

3. (san pedro (catalina)/san fran. (alcatraz) everything in between)



People that text me regularly
1. my mom

2. kala

3. if there is actually someone that texts me *regularly*, and im going blank, so sorryy... my phone is pathetically quiet...
 


Three of my favorite foods:
1. THAI!!! yummmo  (pad thai noodles with peanut sauce & chicken)

2. hummus.....mmmm..... (sun dried tomatoe please...)

3.  tie between cheesecake factory & eggrolls from chilis


Three friends I think will respond:

1. melony (hopefully)

2.april (hopefully)

3. liz (hopefully)





Three pets that I've had:
1. dog

2. cat

3. goats... (i miss having goats)





Three places I want go before I die:

1. europe (to see castles & cool OLD stuff..lol)

2. lambou field & football hall of fame.

3. somewhere tropical

 

 

ok, post this to yours.... =)

**life**

life has been so crazy lately....

and i read a funny reply that my cousin wrote (kurt)...

"Comfort food, is sometimes worth having a bad day..haha" ...........

 well, that got me thinking...

lately it has been easier to deal with everything going on around me,

and throwing myself into projects, instead of dealing with my own things.....

and i think i need to just be brave, embrace the crap,

and have some comfort food at the end of the day........ =)

Bombshell kit

ok, so i know at least three people read this.. and i think a secret admirer...**huge wink** lol.. (i mean i *wish*) haha..
ok, so ive been having lots of fun this morning! im babysitting another little pumpkin... mr. C.J. =) A BOY!!!!! lol which means my girls are in heaven.... so here is result of today playing with my new kit....=)

and then this is what i used Hello, Bombshell...by Victorias Secret......

........=) i watched the VS All ACCESS video's and then this morning just started playing....
what do you think??

summer crush...talk with madelyn..

ok, so back in the summer, like july-ish, john took the two olders (macie & maddie) to get ice cream cones at rite aid... i guess while at the checkout, one of the girls asked him if he had ever had a crush on a girl, and john said, "YES, you girls!" well, they thought that was gross... (*ahem..*) and ended up laughing and telling me over our bbq'd dinner that night.. lol.... and them toward the end malorie has a melt down... that happens alot around here... but madelyns personality is SOOO funny, i had to post it...... and remeber, she is ONLY 3 during this. lol

FULL nuclear PRINCESS MELTDOWN!

OK, ME AND MACIE ARE HELPING YOU THROUGHOUT THIS TOO... sooooooo FLIPPIN FUNNY!!

the build up of her getting frustrated is hilarious.. the she does the sideways flop down.. then attacks.. lol

Madelyn plays piano...

the first one is her ..."getting used to it"

the second is her belting out!

she *hearts* her "Apwul" & hannah banana!

Malorie *HEARTS* uncle chris

Playing drums... with mommy chatting in the back ground...

im a dork...(for the ladies out there)

ok, im a dork, but i love watching the Victoria's Secret fashion show. i know, i know....unrealistic outfits you can't even BUY.. lol.. but its cool seeing what the use for there hair, what make-up tricks they have... any help here in my corner will work! haha! **wink**
But seriously, certain shows & blogs HELP me to feel like im staying trendy... lol....
i know.. i know.. whoooo friggin cares... but, I do.
i am one of "those" people... I FEEL better, more chipper, more energy.. if i feel like i look nice...
im sure there is a bunch of phsyco babble that tells me im totally off my rocker, but oh well.....tell THAT person to stay home, raising three girls, while preaching to have good healthy self esteem... while you feel like crap.... (..im going off topic..)
i love getting vic. sec. pj's, yoga pants, etc.. there is nothing more motivating for me, than WANTING to stay fit, so i can buy sizes smaller than i ever have before.... and knowing i better be able to FIT in them in 6 months.. lol
sooooo anywho, everyyear the VS website does a bunch of free bee's every day during the build up of the fashion show.... so of course.. ive entered.. but nadda yet.... lol... (i still found time to shop though... yummy new ANGEL purfume.... mmmm mmm good....)
im litterally obsessed.. lol.. like if i could work there, i would...
soooo tonight was the fashion show... yea!!! i sat here, in a nice quiet house.. all my girls snoozing.... and watched as huge wings attacked my tv!
but of course i had to get all decked out for this special occasion of mine..... vs tank, rhinestone yoga pants, ......jeez, lately,  any excuse to get "pretty-ied" up is a good one.. haha.....
i attempted the victorias secret hair, and a  toned down *inspired by a friend* make-up..... (more golds and pinks, and less black)

i enjoyed my night.........=)

turkey day....=)

ok, seriously.. im a bad picture taker lately.... like really?! me?!
but... ya... ive been at different functions or holidays, and i find myself... just.... tired.... and enjoying my girls... sometimes... i don't even TAKE my CAMARA! eeeek!!! i know!!!!
so, any who.. thats why ive been laggin lately... but ive decided to try doing a "blog post" at least once a week.... i hope...**WINK**

so thanksgiving, i got 3 whole pictures.. lol.... things have been crazy.... and the girls are all i captured.... enjoy!
this is my girls and my 3 nieces.....

2011
macie(9)- madelyn(4)- malorie (2)



Ellie, Macie, Eva & Sophie

Eva, Vivie, Madelyn, Malorie

sophie, ellie & macie

big kahuna yogurt!

We love big kahuna!